Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
