i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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