Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
