Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You made out with two different species that night
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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