This is not my ceiling
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
