We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
