I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
