I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
