The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
