Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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