I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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