He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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