I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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