Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
