Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
