No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
