did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
