Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
