So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
