bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
