I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My ATM looks so different sober.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
