so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
