You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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