Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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