I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize