Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
