His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
