once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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