I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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