He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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