my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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