i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
