I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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