I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
