so let's talk penis.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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