a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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