i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
