He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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