If that was your dad, he is hot
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
