my mouth tastes like poor choices
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
