Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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