That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
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He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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