Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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