she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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