Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.

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(316): View more from Kansas

Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?

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(940): View more from Texas

nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that

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(802): View more from Vermont

I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.

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(757): View more from Virginia

He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.

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(301): View more from Maryland

My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.

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