I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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