I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice