i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.