Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets

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  (281): i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/eja8
  Replies (33) Good night (7568) Bad night (720)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.

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  (850): Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign. http://tfl.nu/igif
  Replies (14) Good night (986) Bad night (3100)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?

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  (678): My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family? http://tfl.nu/vek9
  Replies (72) Good night (1967) Bad night (8012)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.

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  (917): I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee. http://tfl.nu/dm1b
  Replies (44) Good night (1893) Bad night (6950)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  ugh yes i love our date nights

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  (814): i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey (1-814): ugh yes i love our date nights http://tfl.nu/d1p8
  Replies (4) Good night (3107) Bad night (766)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.

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  (907): You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn. http://tfl.nu/73y5
  Replies (6) Good night (2358) Bad night (1121)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age

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  (812): The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age http://tfl.nu/fek2
  Replies (10) Good night (3587) Bad night (782)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.

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  (765): I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in. http://tfl.nu/2iri
  Replies (9) Good night (2461) Bad night (781)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice

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  (514): The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice http://tfl.nu/9qpr
  Replies (1) Good night (1899) Bad night (561)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.

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  (306): I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious. http://tfl.nu/psu6
  Replies (3) Good night (1200) Bad night (680)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.

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  (804): God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things. http://tfl.nu/yy5y
  Replies (11) Good night (2580) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.

  (940): View more from Texas

  Deal.

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  (281): Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass. (940): Deal. http://tfl.nu/ji2y
  Replies (14) Good night (2978) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i want to face-plant into her vagina

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  (617): theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot (617): i want to face-plant into her vagina http://tfl.nu/1iml
  Replies (10) Good night (2607) Bad night (643)
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  (626): View more from California

  I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.

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  (626): I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime. http://tfl.nu/zedi
  Replies (9) Good night (2053) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  When / where did the additional couches appear?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Additional?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.

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  (908): When / where did the additional couches appear? (732): Additional? (908): James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up. http://tfl.nu/kn0g
  Replies (3) Good night (1035) Bad night (410)

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