Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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