He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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