Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
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