we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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