Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
