she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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