Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
