Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
