I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize