My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize