So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
