Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
